Thursday, March 20, 2014

Counting coins vs Counsel

What did you want to be growing up?! Most wide eyed children would answer police officer or fireman, nurse or ballerina. Some, even a rock star. Not me. I wanted to be a secret agent. I wanted to wear all black and sneak around doing covert ops and gathering Intel. Until that career day in the 4th grade at Church of God Holiness Academy when Mrs Williams told me that it would never work. Because I talked too much. And I was too active. And I couldn't sit still. This started a reaction with in me; one of self doubt.

For some reason that has always stuck with me. I don't know why, but to this day when I have to make an "important" life decision I always second guess myself. Most of the time, I do what I want anyway, but there is still always that self doubt. That voice inside me telling me that I couldn't reach whatever goal it was I had set for myself. This brings me to my current dilemma: What DO I want to be when I "grow up"?! Currently its a toss up between my current major, Accounting, or changing to Law. Now here's the thing. I like nice crap. & being a young home owner and single parent, I don't want to waste time making choices that don't pan out. I want to be able to afford my home, even after the military. I'd love to be able to maintain this life I've grown to love. & I don't want my son to ever be with out.

As I do a little research online (typing well worded questions into Google search) I've come up with these results: maybe I did make the right choice. Maybe accounting is a more lucrative field than law right now. In one google search I found lots of reasons not to attend law school. Reasons like: there's just NOT a major need for lawyers, & they usually end making $18/hr at Starbucks trying to make ends meet. I actually found more articles supporting Accounting than Law. That was shocking to me. Apparently, accounting is just a more practical degree field. Who knew?!

As I get older, and I learn life more I realize that it's all about making decisions for YOU and what matters most to you. Not to please your family, or friends or those people who's opinion you secretly value when you absolutely shouldn't. Guess what?! Someone out there will always love you. Whether you know it or not, there is usually always someone in your corner and right when you need it most, they'll present themselves. So I've stopped worrying. I'm going to let God do his thing. I usually try to keep my posts from being this lengthy but there was so many thoughts bouncing around in my head and I had to get them out. This post may say a lot or it may say nothing at all, but I feel better. If you read this, thanks lol. If you've ever had a similar situation, I'd love to hear about it. & if you've had any experiences with this please share it!

til next time,